Friday, April 27, 2012

Dream Theatre


Well, okay, it was only one spider BUT STILL.

I guess I had wanted to take a shower or something because I was in a bathroom wrapped in a towel (didn't recognize the bathroom-certainly not one here) and there was this gigantic black hairy spider on the floor and it started chasing me! I tried to corral or trick it into going into the bathtub, so I could use the showerhead to spray it down the drain (which had no grid-thingy over it), but it wouldn't go so I ran my ass off shrieking like a little girl, as you do, and the freaking thing followed me and chased me all over the place and I was screaming for my boyfriend to come kill it, but I couldn't find him and he never came to squish it even though I could hear him laughing his head off at me sounding like a banshee.  The spider eventually cornered me on a chair and started climbing up the chair leg very slowly-only for the house warkitty, Dude, to pop out of nowhere and devour it. While wearing a monocle, which suited him alarmingly well.

.....yeeeeah I don't know why I sleep at all anymore. Also, spiders are creepy. I used to not be afraid of them-when I was little I loved tarantulas-and as long as they're contained I'll admire their interesting colors or bits of fuzzy or whatever they have, but if they're loose in the house and/or worse, coming after me, depending on it's size/how ugly it is/what hormonal state I'm in, I will either proceed to scream and throw things at it and demand it's death, go barbarian rage on it's ass and smash it with whatever is handy, inform the boyfriend and possibly shriek and flail (one got on my shoulder once while we were cleaning out his room and I freaked) or try to relocate it outside. I know spiders are necessary, and I don't begrudge them life-but if they start coming after me they need to die. End of statement.

....I'm such a girl.


  1. Spiders are not as scary as scorpions! Hope you did not scream out loud while sleeping.

    1. Actually, I grew up around both spiders and scorpions, and while I don't exactly like scorpions I didn't find them scary in the same way. They were still scary, but not the same KIND of scary.

      And no, I didn't scream, thankfully. XD